Out of Office

@kspk
5 min readMay 14, 2020

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morning grass

It has been over 2 months now. Being in or out of any place has kind of lost any meaning. Once a fortnight grocery trip, a sneaked trip to home improvement store here and there, a walk around the neighborhood, and working in the backyard — the only sunlight worthy outdoorsy events remain now.

As an ode to being perpetually out of office, here is a collection from over the past decade of out of office auto-responses I’ve set, and few interesting conversations it sparked.

20112011

Hello, I’m not in office right now.

Depending on today’s date I would either be getting ready to walk around the sacred fire or gone looking for the Hobbits which were last spotted in the southern hemisphere when the King returned.

In the meantime if you needed me for anything, please talk to someone among these folks: ▒▒▒▒▒▒, ▒▒▒, ▒▒▒▒.

If there is something that’s so urgent that my views are indispensable, well, then pray to God, I’ve heard prayers have pretty strong powers :)

Take Care and a Happy New Year!

Migration to open space needs a break

Hello,

If you sent an email to a DL and are seeing this, please give the feedback to Exchange team to implement a “No OOF msg on a DL” setting. I’d be grateful!

And by the way, we’re moving offices this week (aah.. the pleasures of reorgs!), and I am being tossed from an office with a lovely window, to a dungeon, and that makes me sad! And that is why, I would be spending few days on a riverside nestled within mountains, doing some meditation and dramatic Hollywood music playing in the background. All of this, in preparation to take the dungeon head on.

In the meantime, if you didn’t ping me to rant about your office move, these fine gentlemen can help you out with any queries, ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒, ▒▒▒▒▒, ▒▒▒▒▒, or you could just wait, I’ll be back on Monday.

So long Office with Windows..

Yet another

… since I can’t stand the pain of parting ways from my window office, I’ve decided to take a small vacation, when I will walk into a cave and cry. And hopefully next week, I would just think about the cubicles in IDC and be happy that I have 4 walls (albeit made of glass) and a ceiling around me.

So long, window offices!

One Spring Break

Hello!

I’m out for spring break, to the happiest place on earth 🌎.

Emails unfortunately don’t make the cut here, so couldn’t bring them along, attention to which will be due until I’m (possibly unwillingly dragged) back on April 14. Most of my colleagues are off too (it’s the season you know), so if there’s something that absolutely needs my attention and can’t wait — though unlikely given my pay grade — please give me a call on ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒.

Thank you, and have a Happy Spring Break! 😃

Team goodbye

[Yes, that’s right, this is a calendar invite! On the vestige of my tenure, apt, no?]

Please, allow me to start bottoms up -

Frequently Asked Questions

Q. Where am I heading?
A. Azure Managed Edge, bringing Azure Stack to a rack on a premise near you.

Q. What would I be doing?
A. I’m moving back to a dev role, and probably be focusing on networking and security for the aforementioned stack on the rack.

Q. Dev role?
A. Yes. A long thought out decision. Feed me a coffee and I would elaborate!

Q. But why?
A. There are a few reasons, but most importantly,
a. ▒▒▒ wanted me out, so he could grab this window foyer desk, and,
b. The fact that having ▒▒▒▒ in my management hierarchy is already giving him ideas.

When I look back, I’m thankful of the opportunity I had, in the company of a great team. I got to spend almost 2 years here — one extremely productive, and second, well, just long. Moving on, I know I will miss the camaraderie in this team, and I truly hope our paths cross again in future.

Unlike written English, there is value in extra spacing in life, so I’m taking a week off before I start in my new role. So long, don’t be stranger, and I wish all important things in your life are always –

Centre Aligned.

Thanks for all the good times!

What’s a buck worth?

Hello,

I will be out of town later this week, with limited access to email. Catch me before tomorrow 4pm, if you need anything from me.

If there’s anything urgent that can’t wait, please call me at ▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒▒.

Thanks.

RK:
How about 50 bucks?

AK:
Here you go:

RK:
These are does and there are 83 of them. Doesn’t cut it.
Bucks have antlers.

AK:
Updated, with new ones that did cut it.

RK:
These are only 44 and they’re all deprecated bucks so they are worthless.

AK:
These are not deprecated, they are vintage. Added 6 more to sweeten the deal! Final offer. Take it, or leave it.
(doesn’t include the wall)

Expensive haircut you say?

I am travelling to India for the most expensive haircut for myself and my son.
I’ll be gone next couple weeks, back to Redmond Dec 3, and office on Dec 4.

RD:
Ha ha, how much is the hair cut going to cost? Few thousands?

AK:
Let me see:
Airfare: 4000
Domestic airfare: 1000
Transit hotels: 2000
Hotel for stay for 2 full extended families: 3000
Gifts for everyone: ~3000
— — — — — — — — — — — — — —
Total: 13000

This is excluding what the people actually performing the haircut are going to charge, that’s unknown, and depends on their mood!

Benefits of Traffic!

So, it so happened that we left for office at 8:30AM (yeah 3 hours back) and having tried to cross over to hitech city from Kukatpally, Hafeezpet and Miyapur, we’ve just arrived back to our house. After spending 3 full hours of moving at 1 kilometers per hour (that’s a journey of full 3 kilometers) we’ve decided to call it a day and take the rest of the day off after such hard labour. We’d rather enjoy home food, recover on lost sleep and watch a couple of flicks instead of getting back behind the wheels again.

May a better traffic sense prevail on general humanity.

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@kspk

Mostly stories documenting the lived experiences, stoking my self-conscious, introverted, sarcastic and borderline racist, middle-aged personality.